on embracing my Buddha-nature

A survivor's search for inner peace and healing


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Mahamudra/Vajra Regent Osel Tendzin

The following quoted text was posted on Facebook by my Sangha. I love it. I found it very insightful to read, and I find it is something I really need to keep in mind when I meditate. So I just had to share it here.

Namaste

MAHAMUDRA IS EFFORTLESS

“Mahamudra is effortless. The practice of shamatha is the key to effortlessness. When you practice meditation, fix your posture and align it so that heaven and earth are completely in conjunction. Your body becomes the lightning rod between heaven and earth. Then relax everything. Let your past dissolve into the earth, let your future dissolve into space, let the present moment dissolve into your breath, and then forget everything you just did. Stare directly into space and relax your mind. And whatever happens, don’t be concerned. The absence of deliberate action is the real message. My dear friends, you make much too big a deal of your meditation practice. You should relax your body, speech and mind, and let your mind go where it will. If something occurs, don’t be concerned. If something doesn’t occur, don’t be concerned. Take this very moment as empty in itself and at the same time full of Buddha’s wisdom and insight.”

– from The Chariot of Liberation, Talk 5, April 1984 by Vajra Regent Ösel Tendzin


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compassion, anger, and struggle…

Reading a book by His Holiness The Dalai Lama. His Essential Wisdom

Just picked it up last night and started on it. I am trying to find more time to put into my reading and studying. I hate that I let life carry me away sometimes and I get sidetracked from the important studying and reading I must do.

Anyway, he speaks a lot about compassion. He also speaks about anger. I haven’t gotten to that part yet.

I bring these up, because I struggle so hard with those two things. Compassion, and anger. See, at times I let my PTSD rule my thoughts and emotions, and sometimes even my beliefs. I end up only angry, and lacking compassion.

I have just started on the part of the book that gets into compassion. I am hoping that reading, and maybe re-reading through what he has written, that some part of his wisdom will shine through in me, and I may be filled with at least some compassion.

On a good note, at least I try every day. Many days my intention for that day is to be more compassionate to those around me.

I have much work to do.

Namaste


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letting go….

Learning how to let go….

It isn’t easy.

I have been spending my day letting go….

Of the material in my life.

So far, so good, although it has been hard. But I know I need to let go of the material attachments in my life. And I have many.

Over the years, I have amassed many “pretty” things. Things that caught my eye. But not things that I use. Instead, they sit and collect dust. But for some reason, I have never been able to let go of them.

Today has been a start, and I am proud of how I have done so far.

I think what makes it harder for me, is that some of what I have amassed is tied to a past life of mine. So I know that for me, letting go of all I have amassed ties in to moving beyond that which held me by its power in my last life.

I hope to keep making progress on this. And I know I have a long way to go.

Namaste


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living…

I have enjoyed the movie The Shawshank Redemption, more than once. I find it very uplifting in the end. The main character has survived the horrid conditions of prison, after being found guilty of a crime which he did not commit.

Something about his ability to survive what he was not meant to live through, and to thrive after he is able to escape to the freedom that should have been his all along. There is something redeeming in the story, although it was not his place to seek redemption. I think the movie speaks to the strength of those who are survivors in this world.

And in the movie, there is one line I have walked away with, that has always held great meaning for me.

“Get busy living

Or get busy dying…”

For me, I think this speaks to my ability to survive sexual assault while in the military. To be faced with severe trauma and threats of death, and to survive that, no matter how badly I survived at times, to me signifies that I wanted to live, and not die. And so, I got busy living the best I could at the time.

And now, today, in the present, it also means to me that I must keep moving forward, and not live in that past. I must be mindful of where I am going, all the while, remembering where I have been but not staying in that past. Using that past and my ability to survive it, to keep me moving forward.

If that makes sense.

I have spent the past several months processing the trauma I lived through, and have come out the other end feeling much differently than I did when I went into the therapy process. I continue to process it, although now in a different way. I am continuing in a healthy way, and learning more about my self and the trauma I have been through, with the end result being that I will become more whole and continue to heal.

And therefore, today, now, Get busy living, or get busy dying, holds greater meaning for me.

It means that I am to stop living in my past, in that world where I was a victim, and live today, in the here, in the now, and to live moving forward, being mindful of each moment as it comes. Because it is only if I live this way that I will be busy living, and not busy dying.

Namaste


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sending healing energy…

http://www.lionsroar.com/thich-nhat-hanh-hospital/”

There are rumors that he is in grave condition, while at the same time he is responsive, and there are signs that a full recovery may be possible.

Let me hope for the best for him. I will send the merit to offer life for Thay, beginning tomorrow. That is my resolve.

Namaste

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